Fostering Fabulous Manners: Fun and Gentle Ways to Teach Social Skills
As we continue to nurture our young learners, teaching them social skills and manners is essential, but it's equally important to make this learning process engaging and positive. Rather than using forceful methods, we can guide children in a supportive and enjoyable manner.
Let’s Talk: Social Skills with Peers. One of the key aspects of social development is helping children build meaningful relationships with their peers. Encouraging them to take an interest in other children’s likes and hobbies can be a wonderful way to foster connections. When children show curiosity about what their friends enjoy, they naturally build stronger, more empathetic relationships.
Parents play a crucial role in this process. Framing social settings positively can help set the stage for successful interactions. For instance, if a child is hesitant about socializing, recontextualize their experience from a negative to a positive one. Instead of focusing on what they might not enjoy about a playdate, highlight the fun aspects and the opportunity to make a new friend.
Repeated playdates can significantly benefit children by allowing them to see their friends in different contexts outside of school. These repeated interactions help solidify friendships and build a sense of familiarity and comfort. Keeping playdates short and sweet can also prevent children from getting on each other’s nerves and ensure that their interactions remain positive and enjoyable.
When hosting a playdate, encouraging good manners and inclusion is essential. Prompting children with questions like, "What does our friend want to play with?" can help them practice inclusivity and consideration. This approach teaches them to value and respect the preferences of their peers, fostering a more cooperative and friendly atmosphere.
Now, how do we encourage manners in social settings? A fundamental approach in teaching manners is to avoid forceful methods. For instance, insisting "We can't leave until you say thank you" may make children view politeness with resentment rather than genuine appreciation. Instead, model polite behavior by consistently using "please" and "thank you." If a child doesn’t say thank you, you can say it on their behalf and later discuss why expressing gratitude is important.
Provide opportunities for practice without pressure. For example, suggest, "Now is a good time to say thank you to [name]." If they don’t respond, say thank you yourself and discuss its significance later. Positive reinforcement also helps—praise children when they use manners correctly to encourage continued politeness.
Use everyday situations as teaching moments. After an event, gently discuss with your child how to handle similar situations in the future. This approach helps them understand and value good manners naturally, fostering genuine respect and kindness.
Above all else, the best way we can teach kindness, grace, and coutresy to our children is by modeling wiht our own behavior! Show them how to act as a member of a community. They are wathing and absorbing more than we realize.
