Navigating Drop-Off and Pick-Up: Building Trust Between Teacher, Child, and Parent

By Savanna Simon

For many children, especially those as young as 18 months, starting school can be both exciting and overwhelming. Whether your child is brand new to CMCH (or school in general) or returning after a break, the drop-off and pick-up process is a crucial time to establish trust and create a smooth transition between home and school. 

Now that the first week of school is behind you (- whew!), it’s a great time to reflect on how drop-offs have been going and to fine-tune your approach. Whether your child is still adjusting or has settled in nicely, there are steps you can continue to take to make drop-off easier and build trust between your child, their teacher, and you.

Start at Home: Talk to your child about their school day in a positive manner. Even when you don’t think they are listening, your opinion of their teachers and school over all is foundational to forming their positive opinion of school. When your child tells you a detail about their day, show them excitement and pride. Integrate discussion of school into conversations throughout the day, beyond just “How was your day?” at pick up time. For example, when reading a bedtime story, you could say, “I saw so many fun books in your classroom! I can’t wait to hear all about them.” Weaving school and home together assists in normalizing school as a part of their everyday routine. Your excitement is also contagious to your little one as you are their #1 role model. 

1. Reflect on the First Week

Assess the Routine:

Review What Worked: Think about the drop-off routines that worked well during the first week. Did a specific goodbye ritual help? Did your child respond positively to a certain approach? Continue to reinforce these successful strategies.

Identify Challenges: If drop-off has been difficult, consider what might be causing the anxiety. Is your child struggling with the transition from home to school? Is there a particular part of the routine that seems to trigger tears? Are you yourself anxious? Understanding these patterns can help you address them.

Ask for Help: If you are at a loss about navigating drop off, reach out to your child’s teaching team and administration. 

2. Reinforce the Routine

Consistency is Key:

Create a Ritual: Establish a simple and consistent drop-off routine, such as a special hug, a high-five, or a brief goodbye phrase. This predictability provides comfort.

Stick to What Works: If you’ve found a drop-off routine that your child responds to, keep it consistent. Whether it’s a special goodbye phrase or a quick hug, these small gestures provide comfort through predictability. You know your child best. If you believe a quick rip-off-a-bandaid type of goodbye is best for them, do that. If you know your child needs to see you in their classroom to get acclimated (and you have the luxury of time to do so!), do that. Every child adjusts differently and through different means. We are here to support whatever is best for your family. 

Maintain Positivity: Continue to approach drop-off with a positive attitude. Your calm and upbeat demeanor reassures your child that school is a safe and happy place.

3. Encourage Independence

Celebrate Progress:

Acknowledge Their Growth: After a week of school, your child has already made significant progress. Celebrate the small victories, whether it’s walking into the classroom on their own or making a new friend.

Promote Confidence: Encourage your child to take on small tasks independently, like putting on their own backpack or saying goodbye to you at the door. These moments of independence can help them feel more confident and capable.

4. Strengthen the Teacher-Child Bond

Support the Relationship:

Trust the Teacher: Continue to show your child that you trust their teacher. A simple smile or greeting during drop-off reinforces this message.

Now, prove it: When you do decide to leave (even if it is after staying in the classroom for a while), show decisiveness and confidence. Do not linger outside the door. You are more than welcome to sit in the office and sip on a latte from our (delicious and parent gifted) espresso machine!

5. Easing Separation Anxiety

Reassure and Repeat:

Acknowledge Feelings: If your child is still experiencing separation anxiety, let them know it’s okay to feel sad or miss you, but remind them that school is a fun and safe place, and that Mommy/Daddy always comes back. Discuss their feelings in depth when they are calm at home, well after the dismissal transition period. 

Be Predictable: Stick to a predictable drop-off routine. The more consistent you are, the more your child will learn to trust the process. 

Be Punctual: The gap between friends leaving and Mom/Dad arriving at afternoon carpool can be extremely stressful for a little one. If you know your child is struggling with adjusting to school, consider arriving at the start of carpool. It can be very difficult for little kids to watch their friends leave and sit/wait for up to 20 minutes for you to arrive. 

6. Prepare for Transitions

Look Ahead:

Discuss the Day: Before heading to school, talk to your child about what they can look forward to during the day. This can shift their focus from the separation to the fun activities ahead.

Plan for Pick-Up: Reassure your child by discussing what you’ll do together after school. Knowing that they have something to look forward to can make the drop-off easier.

Check in with yourself: Take comfort to know that you are not alone in this transition period and that it is temporary. Re/starting school is a huge adjustment for a family as a whole. Just as your child is experiencing anxiety, you likely are as well throughout the day, but especially at drop off. Acknowledge your own feelings - and understand that your children will always be well cared for and loved at CMCH. 

As you move into the second week of school, continue to build on the routines you’ve established. By reinforcing consistency, celebrating your child’s progress, and maintaining a positive attitude, you’ll help make drop-off smoother and foster a trusting relationship between your child, their teacher, and you. Remember, the transition to school is a process, and with each day, your child will grow more confident and secure in their new environment. Transition periods for up to a month are more than age-appropriate for little ones. The school is here to support your family, your child, and their teachers in every way we can to ensure they will one day walk into school eager and excited!